NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

A) Leap out of bed each morning before 0600

B) Then, before breakfast:

1) Run five miles

2) Do 400 sit ups

3) Read the New York Times & Wall Street Journal from cover to cover

4) Solve Global Warming

5) Negotiate peace for at least one war or two regional conflicts

6-a) Raise $600K for Biden’s 2028 election campaign

(yes, he has decided to run again)

(or — take your pick)

6-b) Raise $600K for President Trump’s third term re-election campaign

(yes, he will amend the Constitution by Executive Order so he can run again)

7) Lose ten pounds

8) Compose a symphony

9) Write another chapter in the Great American Novel

10) Leap a tall building in a single bound

C) And a final resolution:

11) Not feel guilty if you fail to fulfill your New Year’s Resolutions

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